my thoughts regarding matt and elena.

so we know they are childhood friends, and that as they grew older starting to develop feelings so figure they owed it to themselves to try and see where it goes. i feel like this started in middle school where everything is about who is dating who, or who likes who. so, it’s no surprise when caroline scores the details from tyler that matt likes elena, and then dishes it to elena. the brunette isn’t sure how to feel, but is very flattered. this is the first time crushes actually mean more then chasing a boy around the playground at recess, or receiving valentines. this is the time of elena’s life where perhaps her and matt shared a few cheek kisses, and went to their eighth grade dances together. nothing that serious, but enough that everyone knew they were slowly becoming a thing. it was over the summer before freshman year when things really took off. high school was approaching and that was a whole different ball game. elena still wanted to take things slow, so they mainly just upgraded on making out in his car until she wanted to stop, and then they’d go on cute little arcade dates, etc. when she became a cheerleader and he became a quarterback, they were dubbed the golden couple.

their relationship was clearly official now, and as their friends fell into relationships and had sex there was that ever growing peer pressure. elena wanted to wait for the right moment, and it wasn’t long after her fifteenth birthday that she didn’t stop him when they were making out on his couch. it was awkward at first, but it was sweet and romantic for their first time figuring it all out together. they definitely lost their virginity together and they were safe, always making sure they used a condom because they were young and thought that solved everything. plus, elena didn’t want to talk to her dad, the doctor, or her mom about birth control. admitting she was having sex with matt to her parents was too awkward.

it turns out it should’ve been a much needed conversation. when one week elena was late, and she starts to panic. it was lucky that the pregnancy test was false. after that, she did open up to her mom about going on birth control. the whole scare sort of rattled her, so when matt, who bless his soul is so deeply in love that he just wants to plan their life together, starts talking about marriage and a family       it freaks elena out. she didn’t want to tell him about the pregnancy scare, so she just starts to pull away, and they end up fighting a lot more. not because she doesn’t love him but because she feels things are moving too fast, and she just wants to be a teenager. she doesn’t want to be a mom, especially not after coming so close to being a teen mom, and the idea of a white picket fence and a family suddenly becomes terrifying and incredibly too simple, too normal and safe of a future. sure, maybe she might want kids, but planning her future now when she’s only seventeen freaks her out. she wants to go to college and explore her options, maybe travel somewhere. so, she starts to wonder if she’s at the same place matt is at. then the whole thing with the accident happened, and after that she just pulled away completely, unable to handle a relationship at that time. that’s where i think the whole passion just died down, and when she realized that there wasn’t enough passion there for her, unfortunately. at least not enough for her to want the same future with him that he wanted, as much as it hurts. i just have a lot of feels about these two and what happened.